High School Fun
by SwitzerlandIsEffingAwesome
Summary: Just another "typical" high school day with the Cullens. Not really. A Funny One-Shot.


**High School Fun**

Emmett's POV

UGH! School time again! "Can't we just skip school, I'm tried of Mr. Ace always bitching at me because I'm hotter!," I complained. It was completely true, that wannabe hot man hated me just because I had more attention. I wouldn't blame him, I was hot, but then I did blame him, he just needed to get over it. Edward and Jasper snorted and I glared at them. "It's true!," I argued to there reactions. "I doubt that," Edward smirked. I glanced at him, "And what makes you say that?," I asked. Edward looked over his shoulder at Jasper, Jasper nodded. Obviously they were having another one of those stupid, weird private conversations. "Well Emmett," Edward began smiling like crazy. I just waited impatiently. "Rosalie seems to have a slight attraction towards Mr. Ace, if you ask Jasper," I gasped, my mouth gaped open. I turned angrily and glared at Rosalie. My own wife! Rosalie just smiled and played with her nails as if it were nothing important. "Is that true Rose?," I asked. She looked up and smiled, "Yeah. I think I've grown fond to bald men. I mean he is very sexy, maybe he's as good as you are in bed," Damn. Suddenly everyone broke into laughter, Alice literally feel to her knees. Edward was holding onto Jasper's shoulder for support even though it was unneeded. I thought it was impossible but it was not, my mouth somehow dropped lower than before.

"Bitches," I muttered as everyone settled down. "Whatever Emmett," Edward sighed still grinning widely as he took the driver's seat, Bella took the passenger seat. And Rose, Alice, and Jasper filled up the back seats. I looked around, all the seats were full. "Um. How the hell am I suppose to get to school?," I asked angry that nobody seemed to care I was the only one left out. Not even Rosalie, my own very wife seemed to care! "We have four other cars Emmett, pick," Bella said pointing to the several cars behind us. I sighed, "Oh! Don't forget to remind Nessie to put her seat belt on!," Bella shouted out of the rolled window as Edward backed up and out of the garage. "What the hell Bella! She's your freaking kid!," I yelled but the car had already vanished down the dirt road.

"Dammit," I muttered under my breath. I heard a girly, fake gasp come from the door way and I turned around to see Renesmee holding her hand over her mouth, her facial expression was full of fake shock and humor. "You said a bad, bad word," Renesmee giggled. I rolled my eyes at my niece. "Let's go, were already late which means I'm going to have a moody teacher when I get there," I said as I forcefully opened the driver's door and got in. Renesmee sighed and walked around to the other side of my Jeep. She got in and fumbled with the seat buckles. I chuckled at her as I started the car and back up and out of the garage.

I finally reached the high school, taking, I assumed, twice the time to get there than Edward and them because Nessie just had to use the restroom. Why couldn't she have used the restroom at home? Renesmee leaped out of the car and trotted off towards the ninth grade building. I, on the other hand, one who was much smarter and much, much older walked off towards the eleventh grade building. I could hardly pass as one though, but my story was that I had a slow mind. I flunked twice, once in the eight grade and once in the tenth. Edward and Alice found the humor in this. I smirked as I entered the hall and began to slowly walk towards my first period class that I was already ten minutes late for. Mr. Wilburn, Trig. Which was located in the third hall of the eleventh grade building, room one-thirty-six.

Bella's POV

I held Edward's hand from under the table as I tried to pay attention to Mr. Wilburn, but all attempts failed. The Greek God, that I still couldn't get over today was just too beautiful to stray away from. Edward turned and smiled at me, his dazzling white teeth didn't stop my heart, only because my heart was already dead. But it stunned me, of course it did. I knew I was never going to get over at how perfect Edward was. The sudden in burst of no other, Emmett caused me to abruptly fade out of my trance. I sighed in frustration, couldn't Emmett just act normal and quietly walk in the room? Oh, no he couldn't, for one thing we weren't normal, so that answer was a no. "Mr. Cullen do you mind explaining to me why you are late?," Mr. Wilburn asked as he looked up from his text book. The whole class looked over at a angry Emmett. I smirked and looked around at my family. Alice and Jasper were in the desk behind us, sitting together of course. And by Alice and Jasper's desk was Rosalie and Emmett's desk. Emmett pointed to me and the whole class turned in unison to see who he was pointing at. If I could blush I would have been doing it now.

"Alright, first of all. Let me get this straight fucker. That's my girlfriend, you even touch her I'll break your goddamn neck! No, scratch that, if you even address her, think about her, or even look at her I'll fucking kill you! Now, why I'm late. This chick, Bella Cullen made me drop off her annoy ass little sister! And you wanna know something? Her bratty, bipolar little sister made me stop at a fucking convenient store just so she could piss when she should have pissed at home, then she wanted some gum, then she dropped her change all over the goddamn floor and spent at least a decade picking it fucking up! That's why I'm late, blame it on the brunette and her annoying sister!, He said way too loudly.

My draw dropped, had he just said that? I looked around, Alice and Jasper were already toppling over with laughter, Edward, by my side was trying very hard not to chuckle. Rosalie was embarrassed by her husband's immature behavior, I wouldn't blame her.

Emmett stuck out his middle finger and that did it for everyone. We couldn't hold the laughter in, and soon enough the whole class room was a loud symphony of laughter. Emmett stormed out of the room muttering profanities under his breath, with a grand exit he slammed the door so hard I was surprised it didn't break off it's hinges. At least he hadn't said I made him drop off my daughter, I gave him some brownie points for that. I swear though, Emmett could be any darnedest kid he wanted to if only he were that small, but he had the immature part down. The rest of the period went by slow, only short giggles were suddenly heard from conversations I was gladly not listening to. Alice and Jasper seemed to get a kick out of something they couldn't stop laughing over, I assumed it was a inside joke. I truly felt sorry for Rosalie, she had a lot on her hands, and saying this about a man who's been alive for over eighty years was bad.

Second and third period flew by fast only because it was just Edward and I, no Emmett, no Alice, nor Jasper or Rosalie. Just plain old Edward and I. I loved it that way. There was less drama and more Us. Lunch finally came, although I wasn't looking forward to it. But I did want to see how my daughter's day was going. Edward and I held hands as we walked through the lunch line, I forced myself to not gag as I tried to remember how much a human actually ate. I grabbed a apple, two slices of pizza and a diet coke.

Decent enough, I thought to myself and let Renesmee cut in front of me. She looked back and smiled. Of course I could do nothing but return the same gesture. We all sat down at the table that was farthest away from humans and began to pick at our food, Nessie was the only one who actually put it in her mouth. "So how's your day been so far, honey?," I asked politely. She finished swallowing her food, "Dillon Newton had a fight with Michael Brown. It was quiet funny if you ask me, they both lacked fighting skills, not to mention common sense and absolutely no kind of mature or logical capabilities whatsoever," She said as if it were something typical. A fight in the eleventh and twelfth grade was rare, only because everyone liked each other, or they were too scared to say other wise. But I guess I shouldn't have been so surprised, they were hyper kids after all. Confused on how to show negative feelings. Typical preteen. "Not all kid's are capable of having mature or logical abilities," Alice chirped in the conversation. "I know, but I do," Nessie smiled proudly. We all smiled back at her except Emmett, he still held his grudge. "And what about your day?," Nessie asked. I sighed, were to began. "Well Emmett definitely put on a show this morning on why he was late to school," Edward smirked as I said this. Rosalie sighed, her face held a "Here we go again" expression. Nessie looked up, only slight surprise was shown in her eyes. "So it was about me?," she asked. "And how slow you are," Emmett added on. Renesmee glared at Emmett, "Shut up," she replied. I chuckled at how bad my daughter's comeback skills were. "You'll never make me," he protested. Nessie gave him a challenging glance, "Okay no more! I can't take it with you guys! All the time, back and fucking fort. All you two do is fight!," Rosalie outburst suddenly. We all looked at her in surprise. "The bitch is landing," Jasper whispered. "I repeat, the, bitch, is, landing," Jasper snickered along with us. Rosalie's expression just flared out into more anger.

"And you, Jasper, I'm sick of you and your goddamn emotional problems. Stop complaining and deal with it shitface. And Alice, your freaky shopping habits are outrageous! Seriously, your just as messed up in the fucking head as Emmett! Now that leads me to you two bitches," Rosalie said as she turned to look at Edward and I. I froze in my place, I felt Edward tense by me. "You two, do you ever have separate time? And for Jesus sake Bella, stop worrying about everyone else for a fucking change!," Rosalie shrieked. I looked around behind me to see if any body saw Rosalie's burst. Only a few heads turned in curiosity. "Well Fuck," Emmett said. "Yeah fuck," Renesmee mocked. I glared at Renesmee, "Sorry," she muttered blushing. Suddenly Alice started clapping, and then Jasper, followed by Emmett and then Renesmee. I rolled my eyes as I got up and dumped my tray in the trash. "Thank you Rosalie for your sudden flaw judgment," I said sarcastically as I took Edward by the hand and swung my bag over my shoulder. Rosalie ignored me as she walked hand in hand with Emmett out the door that lead into the parking lot. "Bye Nessie, darling," she waved goodbye as she began to walk the other direction.

=Edward and I walked out of the cafeteria gracefully holding hands together. Emmett leaned against his jeep, he stared at nothing in particular. I looked over at Edward beside me, he looked back down at me. I didn't have to put up my shield for Edward to know what I was thinking. I sighed and released Edward's hand. I walked over to Emmett, he looked up at me as I approached him. "What?," he muttered. I rolled my eyes at his crankiness. "Rosalie doesn't actually like Mr. Ace, it was just a lie," I confessed. Emmett didn't seem surprised about it, "I know," he smirked. "How?," I asked, only slight shock was held in my tone. "Let's just say it had something to do with Mr. Ace's classroom, his desk, Rosalie naked, and a horny me," he smiled. I gagged and quickly walked away. Edward had a disgusted look plastered on his face, I knew Emmett was filling in the details for him. Just on cue, Rosalie got out of Emmett's jeep smiling proudly. She walked over to Emmett and kissed his cheek. "I wouldn't be surprised if Mr. Ace was a girl," she purred into Emmett's ear. This made me smile, but it was a disturbing smile. Alice and Jasper approached us from behind. Alice fluttered to my side happily. "What are you guys talking about?," she asked. I looked over at her, "You don't want to know," I informed. She nodded her head in agreement. Just on time the bell rang and we all separated off for last period.

Suddenly, I knew that this was only the beginning of my day, and that it would only get worse in time, but I also understood that these days made up the life of a Cullen. And somehow I still managed to accept them because no matter how ridiculous Emmett acted, or how bitchy Rosalie seemed we still made up the best High School memories together as one big family.

And luckily, I belonged to that family.

A lot of hours later, 2:21 AM

"FUCK YA MR. ACE-CHIZZLE! GO HIT ON SOMEONE ELSE'S SHAWTY NIGGA! THIS HERE IZ EM-DIZZLE YOU NOE WHAT I'M SAYIN DAWG!" I heard Emmett shout from upstairs.

"What the hell are you doing Emmett. It's two-thirty in the morning?," Rosalie growled.

"What do you mean, it's two-thirty in the morning. Why do you care? We don't sleep," Emmett stated the obvious.

"So, you still don't hear people shouting into phones acting like a "gangster" in two in the morning," Rosalie hissed infuriatingly.

"It's gangsta," Emmett corrected.

I rolled my eyes as I continued to listen.

"Whatever Emmett, who are you even talking to?," I could tell by Rosalie's tone that she didn't really care who he was talking to as long as he shut up.

There was a brief pause.

"Are you talking to Mr. Ace?," I could hear the anger growing in Rosalie's voice.

"NO babe, no I'm not talking to Mr. Ace," Emmett rejected too quickly which gave it away. Not that he had already given it away by saying "Mr. Ace-chizzle".

"Ugh, I'm leaving," Rosalie groaned.

"Naw babe, don't be like that. Cum here and give Emdizzle some lovin."

"Hold on babes," Emmett said and then there was a short pause.

"YEAH NIGGA! YA BETTER RUN FAW! THIS RIGHT HERE IS THE KANG. I REPRESENT THE HOOD BIAACTTHH!," I couldn't help but chuckle. Edward noticed this and moved slightly. He listened.

"Yeah sure, I'll hold," I presumed Emmett was still talking through the phone.

"Oh sorry, wrong number," Emmett said nervously.

"Guess Mr. Ace..got...um...scared..ya..know what I'm saying R-Rose-dizzy," Emmett stuttered.

"Just go before I hurt you," Rosalie sighed.

I shook my head in disappointment as Edward chuckled lightly next to me.

Maybe I wasn't so lucky to belong to this family.

"OFFICE NOW MR. CULLEN!," Mr. Ace yelled, his face was a burning red.

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**~ Bhanjii The Ninja**


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